Begnadigen Sie mein Deutsche

It was a Tuesday, I distinctly remember. All the strange things in life usually happen on Tuesdays don’t they? On this particular Tuesday, I was idly flipping through a course catalog trying to pick courses for this term.

Have you noticed how things sound a lot more profound in a foreign language? Well, I have. You can say “My dog is wet” and sound like you’ve solved the world’s energy crisis. Especially when the listener does not speak aforementioned language.

Anyway, having narrowed my options down to German and French, I decided to give the problem more thought.

French, incidentally, is a great language. Their umbrellas are male while their windows are feminine. And you can tell someone to go to an undesirably warm place governed by a man with horns, and sound like you’re asking him to water the begonias.

Lovely, perfect!

Long story made longer, I’m taking German this term. (There’s a very rational explanation for the above, but it probably won’t make sense to you, so I’ll just skip it shall I?)

German though, is not quite so bad. In German, you can say something perfectly useless, like “Once is No Time” and win the Jerusalem Prize

Most of my classmates in this course apparently know German. Like Socrates, I know nothing. Well, almost nothing. I can say Flughafen, Danke Schon and Guten Morgen. Though some would say “Good morning, Airport, Thank you” is enough German for one person.

If you were ever actually in Germany, it would get you right out!

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